legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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