bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize