did you get engaged???
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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