He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
