What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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