i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He did a backflip because drugs
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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