Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize