This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
