Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
