It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
