Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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