I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
