Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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