is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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