is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
