I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
