I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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