Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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