Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
