Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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