I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
