I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
