he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
