Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
