i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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