i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
