Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
