so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
