let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
