I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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