So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
