Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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