your parents love me but you hate me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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