it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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