Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
