I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Can you bring me the toilet please
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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