next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize