And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I bet he comes in French.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
