Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she peed on how many people?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
