Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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