I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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