I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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