did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
