After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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