I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize