i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
this just has baby written all over it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
