I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
