Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
