So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
