Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
