i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize