Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
