Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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