the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
