Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
