hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
