would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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