shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
