is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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