So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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