I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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