We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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