This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
