i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
birth control should be required to get into college
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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