Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
