Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
