beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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